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You’re a schoolgirl dressed in a very revealing costume.
That’s probably illegal. Take your pass.
You’re a grown man looking for schoolgirls dressed in very revealing costumes.
That should be illegal. Take your pass.
You’re a grown man dating a schoolgirl dressed in a very revealing costume.
I’d say that’s illegal. Take your pass.

You’re a grown man dressed in a very revealing schoolgirl costume.
There is no God.  
Just take your pass.



No, I do not want to trade pokemon with you.
Get away from me.
No, I do not want to be ‘owned’, in Smash Brothers.
Get away from me.
No, I do not want to join your live action roleplay group.
Get away from me.

No. I do not care how good your Charizard is.
I do not want to trade pokemon with you.
Just get away from me.



The fangirls decided to introduce me to “Yaoi”.
It might just be the bright lights, but… I swear, my eyes are burning.
The fanboys decided to introduce me to “Hentai”.
It might just be the Yaoi, but… I swear, my eyes are still burning.
The fangirls decided to introduce me to the “tackle glomp”.
It might just be the concussion, but… I swear, there used to be a wall here.

Then the fanboys and fangirls decided to introduce me to “crossplaying”.
It might just be my burning eyes playing tricks, maybe even that concussion again, but…
I’d swear, you’re that creepy schoolgirl guy again!



You would like me to take a photo of your Naruto cosplay group?
Well, I really don’t have the time, but… alright. Just this once.
You would like me take a photo of your live action roleplay group?
Well, I really don’t have the time, but… alright. Just this once.
You would like me to take a photo of your Boy Scouts group?
Well, I don’t see how that’s related, but… alright. Just this once.

You would like me to take a photo of your…
Wait! Damnit, creepy schoolgirl guy!
I told you to wait your turn!



The convention was finally over. Everyone has packed up and gone home.
I’ll have a scotch and coke thanks.
The convention was finally over. My eyes are bleeding.
I’ll have a scotch and coke thanks.
The convention was finally over. My soul has been left a burnt out, empty husk.
I’ll have a scotch and coke thanks.

The convention was finally over.
Until next year.
No scotch? Whatever you have left then.
A little piece I came up with today while I was bored. I actually have quite a lot to do with the organisation of an anime convention in Adelaide, known as "AVCon", the Adelaide Anime and Videogames Convention.

I actually quite enjoy anime conventions. This is simply taking a grossly exaggerated shot at the quirks of an anime con, through the eyes of a volunteer at their first convention.

Enjoy. Comment if you wish. Critique is encouraged and I'd love to hear it; but just keep in mind I wrote this in the span of an hour or so, eh?

Oh, and points go to those that know the source of the picture.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconparallelcat:
ParallelCat Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I know this is a really old post, but oh my God I just laughed until I was crying. Best thing ever. :D
Reply
:iconakatem:
akatem Featured By Owner May 29, 2012  Student Filmographer
XD Thanks for making my day!
Reply
:iconmisterslick:
MisterSlick Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012
You are most certainly welcome. :)
Reply
:iconakatem:
akatem Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2012  Student Filmographer
:D heehee!
Reply
:iconnetherguard:
Netherguard Featured By Owner May 25, 2011
Nyahahaha... one of the funniest things I've read on the subject in a long time
Reply
:iconnayaru-mayame:
Nayaru-Mayame Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010   Traditional Artist
xD lol
Reply
:iconjhsfreakxxx:
jhsfreakxxx Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2010
Funniest thingever%uE415
Reply
:iconmilky-sea:
milky-sea Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010
okay, well, maybe.....
Reply
:iconmilky-sea:
milky-sea Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010
Dude, this is NOT what anime cons are like. :x
Reply
:iconhitahani:
HitaHani Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love anime conventions, they're one of my favorite things in the world. Yet everything you described is so true it's scary. It's make me wonder why on Earth I like them. Haha
Reply
:iconlittlemisschievous:
LittleMissChievous Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2010
BWA HA HA HAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA CREEPY SCHOOLGIRL GUY!!!!!!

*dies from lack of breath*
Reply
:iconspecial-beam-cannon:
special-beam-cannon Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
heheh its all so true! but thats why the rock!!
Reply
:iconlooking-glass-alyss:
Looking-Glass-Alyss Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2009  Student General Artist
Hah! Most of that is true though.

O_o I know about the creepy schoolgirl guy...well..it was actualy creepy maid guy...but anyhow...he just randomly runs up to me and asks "ARE YOU A MAID?!" gaaaaaaaaaaawd...it was weird...sad thing was I was in an American McGee's Alice costume...TT.TT

But later I found out he was asking because of this maid costume contest that was somewhere in the convention space...>_< still creepy as fuck..
Reply
:iconlyraalluse:
LyraAlluse Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2009  Professional General Artist
Everything you wrote is so true. I remember my first anime convention (Anime Expo). I felt the same way; especially since Man Faye made an appearance. Now don't get me wrong; Man Faye is awesome and I had a long conversation with him (before he became well known). But seeing a guy in a Faye Valentine costume is enough to make anyone's eyes burn. Trust me. Scotch was needeed later...
Reply
:iconsatiricalangel:
SatiricalAngel Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2009
LOL, I love your rendition of "The Scream". And the writing's great as well; I'll keep that in mind when I go to my first anime con in april. *crosses fingers and hopes it won't be too crazy*
Reply
:iconjacobine:
Jacobine Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2008
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

@_@ LULZ.
Reply
:iconshinraismybro:
shinraismybro Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2008
omg lolz all of this...so true. ^^;
Reply
:iconscythepunkette:
ScythePunkette Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
This amuses me immensely. "It might just be the concussion, but... I swear, there used to be a wall there" is my favorite line.
Reply
:iconraymansnumberonefan:
RaymansNumberOneFan Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2008  Student Writer
The picture is of the "Scream" but I can't remember who drew it.
This is quite a funny ';poem'...like... thingur.. Anyway, great job. I don't think I could've managed that if I had a week. It took me four weeks to write a poem called, "Poem To Those Who Know Me". Wonderful job.
Reply
:iconcitron-ami:
Citron-Ami Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2008
>w< that made me lol especially when the schoolgirl guy kept coming up xD

I'm going to my first convention this year and I have no idea how it's like xD
Reply
:icontheleashedfreak:
theleashedfreak Featured By Owner May 27, 2008
My goshness, it maded me laugh! XD

I love my anime conventions!
Reply
:iconcalientelle:
Calientelle Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2008
OMG @.@;
My First Con Is coming up. Note to self. Stay away from yaoi table. .___.
Reply
:iconmyuzakichan:
myuzakichan Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2010
Lol, sameee
Reply
:icondementor88:
dementor88 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2007
Its so very true... XD The first con is a frightening experiance.
Reply
:iconlogolepsy-society:
logolepsy-society Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2007
OMG! it's 'scream'! and nice writing ;) i faved ittttttt. :highfive:
Reply
:iconambimie:
Ambimie Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2007
XD This made my crack up so much. I've never been to a convention and quite frankly it's exactly those things that scare me so much to even think about doing so, haha. And yay Slick is back? <3
Reply
:iconbertus-:
bertus- Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2007
Hahaha that is awesome. Even if it was shit it would warrant a +fav from me because you haven't submitted anything in so long :P
Reply
:iconkitsunesakurano:
kitsunesakurano Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
it's pedro from excel saga
poor p-chan

XD at creepy school girl guy

I sit here and lol at your work for it is funnehs
Reply
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