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Submitted on
January 10, 2009
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A Tale of Greed and Geekery

Pizza stains and Cheeto fingers
The stench of sweat and laundry lingers
The geeky teen
Forsakes hygiene
For Halo 3, Team Slayer.

The devoted geek forever fights
To locate Blue within his sights
“I’ll pwn u noob!”
“Stop camping dude!”
“lol owned!” replied the player.

At night he’d stay online till three
Grinding through his RPG
But tonight he’d play
Well into day
To ensure he’d make the Allied pay.

“For the Horde!” his war would wage
With level 80 Blood Elf Mage
He’d proudly brag
“Hey suck less, fag!”
Until his game began to lag.

With broadband capped, snacks wearing thin
With no deathmatch or war to win
The geek would dare
To venture where
Few gamers go… outside their lair.

The teen slowly unlocked the door
To cross barefoot the freezing floor
On chairs he’d stand
To reach his hand
Up to shelved food; snacks boxed and canned.

Reaching shelves in darkened room
His greed would be his certain doom
A window’s glare
Was a sight rare
For which the teen could not prepare.

Startled, blinded by sunlight
He stumbled and fell from the height
Clawed at his eyes
And curly fries
Resulting in his sharp demise.

Pizza stains and Cheeto fingers
The stench of sweat and death still lingers
The boy laid there
With vacant stare
No priest to come to aide.

His clan did wonder where their mage
Had gone at such a crucial stage
He missed the raid
Their assumption made
He’d quit the game… and gotten laid.

But soon the tale of horror spread
A teenage boy, discovered dead
Fractures, cracks
And TV Snacks
Blood mixed with Mountain Dew.

The online world heard of his fate
Geeks worldwide learnt a lesson great
Broadband uncapped
Prevents mishap
As data shall accrue.

-Written by Adam Rau
A little poem I was inspired to write while down and out with the flu last night. Took about 4 hours. Hope you enjoy it, even if you don't quite understand all the geek references! If you're one of the folks that enjoyed my "Perils of an Anime Convention" piece a while back, I think you will enjoy this one. I'm much, much happier with the result this time.

As a good friend pointed out, the layout is inspired by the classic "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe, although I couldn't work out where I had taken the structure from until he pointed it out.

I've mixed up the rhyming structure a bit throughout the poem as you may have noticed; from a '11223' structure to '11222' in various paragraphs. I hoped this would keep the poem a bit more varied and interesting... and I think I kind of pulled it off. Let me know if you disagree, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Critique, as always, is definitely encouraged. However once again, keep in mind that I wrote this in a few hours, so it's not perfect. If you intend to post this elsewhere, I'm more than happy with that, thrilled even! Just make sure it's not for commercial use or profit, and I get a little credit where it's due, eh?

Cheers guys! Thanks for reading!

Adam Rau
:iconalecat:
Alecat Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009  Hobbyist
A cute story with a solid rhythm. Well done Slick :)
Reply
:iconcronobreaker:
cronobreaker Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
You made Poetry cool again;P I honestly forgot that poetry can be humorous;P
Reply
:iconplufim:
plufim Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
The internet: you just won it.
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