A Tale of Greed and Geekery

Pizza stains and Cheeto fingers
The stench of sweat and laundry lingers
The geeky teen
Forsakes hygiene
For Halo 3, Team Slayer.

The devoted geek forever fights
To locate Blue within his sights
“I’ll pwn u noob!”
“Stop camping dude!”
“lol owned!” replied the player.

At night he’d stay online till three
Grinding through his RPG
But tonight he’d play
Well into day
To ensure he’d make the Allied pay.

“For the Horde!” his war would wage
With level 80 Blood Elf Mage
He’d proudly brag
“Hey suck less, fag!”
Until his game began to lag.

With broadband capped, snacks wearing thin
With no deathmatch or war to win
The geek would dare
To venture where
Few gamers go… outside their lair.

The teen slowly unlocked the door
To cross barefoot the freezing floor
On chairs he’d stand
To reach his hand
Up to shelved food; snacks boxed and canned.

Reaching shelves in darkened room
His greed would be his certain doom
A window’s glare
Was a sight rare
For which the teen could not prepare.

Startled, blinded by sunlight
He stumbled and fell from the height
Clawed at his eyes
And curly fries
Resulting in his sharp demise.

Pizza stains and Cheeto fingers
The stench of sweat and death still lingers
The boy laid there
With vacant stare
No priest to come to aide.

His clan did wonder where their mage
Had gone at such a crucial stage
He missed the raid
Their assumption made
He’d quit the game… and gotten laid.

But soon the tale of horror spread
A teenage boy, discovered dead
Fractures, cracks
And TV Snacks
Blood mixed with Mountain Dew.

The online world heard of his fate
Geeks worldwide learnt a lesson great
Broadband uncapped
Prevents mishap
As data shall accrue.

-Written by Adam Rau